xpaynex

It's really been a long time since i have written in this thing and i have no idea what to write about. I've had so many thoughts in my head that i have no idea where to start. I guess i would say that the most recent thought in my head is,  why is my pride getting in the way? For awhile i have been living with my mom and she's been telling me that i should go with this program that helps me find and apartment and pays half of my rent. I really would like to do it but all my life i've been seeing my mom on welfare and its been bugging me cause i don't want to be in the same place that my family is in. As much good as this program would do for me i just don't to become another black person on welfare. I don't want to become another statistic, another reason why white people use it as for there justifacation to be a racist or whatever else they use it for(even though i know, there are a lot of white people on welfare too). This is just really getting to me and i don't know what to do.


I recently talked to a friend of mine who was thinking about the same thing. He said that even though if we go on it he knows that we wont take advantage of it. Which is true, but how do i know that i wont be on it forever like my family. I'm so conflicted, on one end here is something that will help me and benifit me and on the other side my pride is getting in the way and telling me that i dont need it. I really dont have any idea what to do.

I guess i'll stop the story of Ted Johnson this time(seeing how i haven't written about him in a while),talk about myself. Well do you see that semi-handsome man in that profile picture? Yea him, thats me.  The name is vernon, i'm a pretty cool and quiet kid. In being quiet, i take on the role of the observer. Ever since i was a kid all i was told to was be quiet and have patience, what nobody  realized is  that would make me somehow predict and observe the future of my family. Not a lot of people know this but i dont have the same last name as my family i directly take the name from my really cool dead beat dad. My families last name is MCcune and over the years i have realized that the MCcunes will forever and always be alone and unhappy(of course they pretend not be cause they have god to make them happy and thats all that matters), but in this life of humans and human emotion they aren't happy. I didnt realize till about maybe 6 years ago that even though my name is different that i would suffer the same destiny as the rest of my family. It seems like no matter how much i try to  be happy and get ahead in life it isnt gonna happen because of the damn name. You know i would have never thought of anything like this until this morning when i got broken up with via text message, it feels good to know that certain high school things will neve change no matter how old you get. Oh,well my life is already set up for me. All i have to do now is welcome it with open arms. Enough of me, i will soon return to the story of Ted Johnson.

Sitting at the table with extreme boredom eating a turkey sandwich,Ted Johnson decided to look through his phone. He thought that it has been awhile since he has talked to his friends or rather his so called friends. As the names scroll down from male to female he decides to stop since there isn't a name that catches his eye to help him escape from his boring time with the turkey sandwich. Right before he hits the cancel button on the phone he sees the name Jen. He starts to think of that one amazing night that he spent with her where she had stroked his semi-erect penis, where he had sucked on her caramel colored nipples, not to mention the great time that he spent between her legs dry humping while both in there underwear. Before actually putting forth the effort to call her he decides to text her. He sends her a text saying, Hi. Fifteen minutes later the "Fresh Prince of Bel Air" starts to play loud. Ted looks at his phone and sees that she has responded with; Hello. After a few moments to texting back and forth he decides to call her so he can actually hears her voice cause he misses hearing it. She picks up the phone, Hello he says. How are you he responds to after she says hello back. She tells him that she is doing really good now, that she is happy and that she couldn't be better. he has a curious look on his face because this is a girl who for the past 3 years that he has known her she was never ok, fine, just great, or any type of happy go lucky attitude. So with this curiosity he asked her, why are you so great? She responds with that stops him from breathing for about 5 seconds( i would say 60 seconds but that might kill him), I am engaged now! she says.

to be continued....

Ahh, it feels so good to be back here typing my thoughts or just the randomness that i can think of. This time i'll try my best not to write about death, despair, and underwear. You know i'm not really sure why i came back to LJ....well now that i think about it, its better that i write here then writing on myspace cause i'm tired of hearing: "aww", "it'll be ok", and the famous line " you'll find somebody".  I guess one of the reason why i'm back here besides writing how much i cant stand people with vaginas is to actually write something worth while. So now that i've allowed myself to re-introduce myself, on to actually writing something thats a different form of bitching.


So after a few days of declining to actually watch the movie Cadillac Records, i gave in and what a dissapointment. I have to say that the only people actually worth it in the movie were the actors who played Howlin wolf, little walter. Beyonce,Mos Def, blowed bull penis badly. Damn sadly i have to go but i will return to finish.

So now i'm back. Like i said after a couple of days not wanting to bore my life with watching Cadillac Records i did. I have to say that that movie was just the worst. The only thing that made the movie watchable was the whole story of how cadillac records came to be. As far as Beyonce goes, the person who cast her to be in the movie should move to indonesia and revaluate their life. I usually like Jeffery Wright(plays muddy waters), in this movie i thought he was kinda shitty in. Maybe because all this time i thought he was spanish, but his performance wasnt really that good. Of course i have to mention Mos Def playing chuck berry, i would say his performace was about as good as lil john playing OJ in a movie.  The only actors that i liked were the ones that played Howlin Wolf, and Little Walter( of course it had to be the actors that i didn't know). I honestly think hollywood should actually try to look for new talent than just casting singers or rappers that cant act. It's really not that hard now, when an 8x10 comes in with a acting resume i dont think it would be that hard to just look at it instead of throwing it in the bad pile. You never know what you might find if you actually take the chance to search for new TALENT and i stress that word(thats why i have the caps), than to look for people who are just cute for the role.

Well thats gonna be it. I know that i'm not the greatest writer but thats me, i kinda go everywhere with my stuff. Oh well..lata